Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, June 26, 2009
Dont know what it is....
So my cousin is getting married, YaY! La chona and I grew up together, but weren't close. I always felt growing up that she was a bit too prissie for me. Anyway, well her mama came over to deliver her wedding invitation. She IS getting married to a Muslim guy. I say Muslim guy because I don't remember what his nationality is.
I have met him the guy once and he is kinda obnoxious, he asked me how much I made at dinner,then denied that he asked me later. I didn't answer his question nor made a big deal about. But La chona called me a couple of days later to ask me if he asked and I said yes he did, he was there with La chona and was like I never asked her. He totally denied it said he never asked me, La chona was like that was so rude of him to ask you, I don't understand why he did that sorry, while I could hear him in the background saying he never asked me nothing.
Well in the end I'm glad she is getting married, but don't wanna go. It brings back some memories. Memories of when I was dating "whats his face" he was Indian and we were forbidden to be together and in the end his family won. Good, everything happens for reason.
So I was thinking man oh man should I go or shall I skip it? should I go or skip it? Well it's the same weekend as LOLLAPOLOZA I already have my 3 day pass paid for, so I guess I'm not going? IDK!
I guess I can get baked at Lolla then run across the city to the late wedding, IDK!! We shall see.
I have met him the guy once and he is kinda obnoxious, he asked me how much I made at dinner,then denied that he asked me later. I didn't answer his question nor made a big deal about. But La chona called me a couple of days later to ask me if he asked and I said yes he did, he was there with La chona and was like I never asked her. He totally denied it said he never asked me, La chona was like that was so rude of him to ask you, I don't understand why he did that sorry, while I could hear him in the background saying he never asked me nothing.
Well in the end I'm glad she is getting married, but don't wanna go. It brings back some memories. Memories of when I was dating "whats his face" he was Indian and we were forbidden to be together and in the end his family won. Good, everything happens for reason.
So I was thinking man oh man should I go or shall I skip it? should I go or skip it? Well it's the same weekend as LOLLAPOLOZA I already have my 3 day pass paid for, so I guess I'm not going? IDK!
I guess I can get baked at Lolla then run across the city to the late wedding, IDK!! We shall see.
Monday, May 04, 2009
tell it how it is
So I went out on Friday night to celebrate a friends birthday. I was having a great time till I became a monster.
There was a time when I would only drink rum and coke, I had it every time and all night. Well it been awhile, I have been drinking beer like really good beer that is high in alchol content so I know to pace myself. I know I'm done with less than 2. On Friday all I drank was rum and coke and became a monster.
I danced and bitched out a friend. Well that is all I remember. My friend, my bff now tells me otherwise that I did other things, embarrassing things. He my bff didn't stop me. I know it is not his job to babysit but he is my BFF and he/we would take care of each other.
HE drove me home. I couldn't make it up the stairs so I stayed on the concrete floor near the basement talking to my boyfriend on the phone, telling him how drunk I was. He was upset but still stayed on the line with me. I was so weak I couldn't hold my self up. As I lay there I could hear a group of guys pass through my alley going in one direction then going the other way. In a matter of minutes I hear gun shoots, I was afraid that they were going to come in my property to cut through or hide and find me drunk and passed out. I was still on the phone with my boyfriend when he heard the shots and was worried for me.
When I heard the gun shots I kinda snapped out of it. I picked myself up and stumbled up the stairs and fumbled with my keys to open the door. I could hear the police sirens coming into the neighborhood.
I was still on the phone with my boyfriend as he heard me stumble through my house to get into my bed. I tried to sit on the edge of my bed to put on my PJ but fell. I fell on the left side of my body landing on my forearm and ass. He told me I was crying telling him how much I was in pain. He was fearful I broke my arm, but thank goodness I didn't.
Well on Saturday I stayed home recovering from my badass hangover. I didn't do anything all day but puke and rest.
I started feeling a little better on Saturday night. I stayed home and around midnight i hear gunshots and screaming. Well 2 teens got shot about half a block away from me. I'm guessing it was the left over from the night before.
On Sunday evening I did my night routine of putting on face lotion, hand lotion and that's when I noticed, I had a bunch of bruises. bruises on my arms and shoulder. I don't know what happened
I really don't like how I feel right now. I don't like how I get. I don't like how I am. I need to settle down.
I really dont feel like writting about this but I did.
There was a time when I would only drink rum and coke, I had it every time and all night. Well it been awhile, I have been drinking beer like really good beer that is high in alchol content so I know to pace myself. I know I'm done with less than 2. On Friday all I drank was rum and coke and became a monster.
I danced and bitched out a friend. Well that is all I remember. My friend, my bff now tells me otherwise that I did other things, embarrassing things. He my bff didn't stop me. I know it is not his job to babysit but he is my BFF and he/we would take care of each other.
HE drove me home. I couldn't make it up the stairs so I stayed on the concrete floor near the basement talking to my boyfriend on the phone, telling him how drunk I was. He was upset but still stayed on the line with me. I was so weak I couldn't hold my self up. As I lay there I could hear a group of guys pass through my alley going in one direction then going the other way. In a matter of minutes I hear gun shoots, I was afraid that they were going to come in my property to cut through or hide and find me drunk and passed out. I was still on the phone with my boyfriend when he heard the shots and was worried for me.
When I heard the gun shots I kinda snapped out of it. I picked myself up and stumbled up the stairs and fumbled with my keys to open the door. I could hear the police sirens coming into the neighborhood.
I was still on the phone with my boyfriend as he heard me stumble through my house to get into my bed. I tried to sit on the edge of my bed to put on my PJ but fell. I fell on the left side of my body landing on my forearm and ass. He told me I was crying telling him how much I was in pain. He was fearful I broke my arm, but thank goodness I didn't.
Well on Saturday I stayed home recovering from my badass hangover. I didn't do anything all day but puke and rest.
I started feeling a little better on Saturday night. I stayed home and around midnight i hear gunshots and screaming. Well 2 teens got shot about half a block away from me. I'm guessing it was the left over from the night before.
On Sunday evening I did my night routine of putting on face lotion, hand lotion and that's when I noticed, I had a bunch of bruises. bruises on my arms and shoulder. I don't know what happened
I really don't like how I feel right now. I don't like how I get. I don't like how I am. I need to settle down.
I really dont feel like writting about this but I did.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
What a disapointment
I was excited to see Tropic Thunder last night. I was talking to my buddy on the phone as I waited for him to come home. He got out of the car and gave me a kiss and a hug. He still looked the same, I expected him to come home and have lost weight and look rested. Nope, not at all. He came home the same way he left.
I was happy to see him, he cooked for me and we talked a bit. I think the talk killed the mood. He is going back to Ecuador. I'm sadden by this. He told me the truth. I have told him time again that I want no BS, I want it straight forward and he gave it to me. It is a possibility that he will go back for 6 months and return.
I know I must stay away, for my own good.
The time it took me to DETOX from him was painful.
I was happy to see him, he cooked for me and we talked a bit. I think the talk killed the mood. He is going back to Ecuador. I'm sadden by this. He told me the truth. I have told him time again that I want no BS, I want it straight forward and he gave it to me. It is a possibility that he will go back for 6 months and return.
I know I must stay away, for my own good.
The time it took me to DETOX from him was painful.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
feeling a little blue
I have had my 2nd crying spell this week.
The first one was during the weekend, my mom did not want to attend my nephews bday party. I couldn't understand why, so I just began tearing up. I drove to my nephews home crying. I went in to the party and tried to put on my best party face, but did not fool anyone. I was constantly asked why I was so serious and I kept telling then that this was me, I'm serious!
My last crying spell was a little bit ago. I'm home enjoying my Thursday night and I get a call from Tropic Thunder he asked me to come over, he is being his silly self and I'm I guess in a serious mood and not in the mood to be funny. He obviously doesn't know that but I just cried. I cried and cried like a baby as soon as we hung up. What is wrong with me?
I really like Tropic Thunder why wouldnt I be happy to see him? I havent seen him in 3 months. I have waited for this day for so long!!
The first one was during the weekend, my mom did not want to attend my nephews bday party. I couldn't understand why, so I just began tearing up. I drove to my nephews home crying. I went in to the party and tried to put on my best party face, but did not fool anyone. I was constantly asked why I was so serious and I kept telling then that this was me, I'm serious!
My last crying spell was a little bit ago. I'm home enjoying my Thursday night and I get a call from Tropic Thunder he asked me to come over, he is being his silly self and I'm I guess in a serious mood and not in the mood to be funny. He obviously doesn't know that but I just cried. I cried and cried like a baby as soon as we hung up. What is wrong with me?
I really like Tropic Thunder why wouldnt I be happy to see him? I havent seen him in 3 months. I have waited for this day for so long!!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Another dream
this dream is a bit short, because I dont remember the details too much (not common). I was going to visit Tropic Thunder at his home and ended up in my alley. It was raining light. It then began to to thunder, i was moving from garage to garage to have shelter from the rain and as I did that there were was lightning hitting the ground near me. I kept thinking I need not touch anything metal or get away from my metal sorroundings. I began to wonder why the lightning ket coming too close to me? I was never hit by the lightning but came close several times.
The end.
The end.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Dreams
I dream allot. You might not think that is not a bad thing, but I do. I dream too much and I remember them, vividly.
Last night I dreamed that I was somewhere in Europe. I was in Harold's department store and I was checking out some rainboots that where on clearance. The boots were black rubber and multicolor, they were cute and useful. The cost of these boots were $12.48. I stood there debating if I should get them when the group of Friends I was with told me they were going upstairs to check out the clothing area. I told them I would wait there for them while I pondered on the boots.
Awhile later I hear gun shots, so I run out the store without the boots. LOL. In my dream I didn't buy them WTF? LOL
So I wait outside for my friends and walk to the car. On the way we take a break to smoke, as we stand smoking near an alley a group of thuggish looking guys come towards us, so we decide to take of to the car. As we chit chat at the car the guys come by and are rude and obnoxious. I decided to go to my blue VW bug as I get in one of the rude obnoxious guys opens my car hood and get into my car. I try to start the car, but I'm unable to start my I try to hit and kick him but he shoves me to the back of the and takes off with me in it. As we drive by my friends I pound on the window and scream to catch their attention but they don't notice. That is how my first part of my dream ends.
2nd part was the following. Tropic Thunder (my lover) came home from his looooooooooooong trip. We picked me up and we drove to a store where he both me clothing a white sweater with a white fur trim on the collar. It was a nice sweater and it cost $150. Then we arrived at his house and there was a block party as I stood in the heat there was a lady who left her green purse. I went around the block party trying to find the owner of the purse, I never found her, so I gave it to women to to take over the search. Finally I got to Tropic Thunders home and as I was walking up the stairs his neighbors would stop me and invite me in they would tell me how much they missed me that why haven't I come around.
The end
That was it.
Last night I dreamed that I was somewhere in Europe. I was in Harold's department store and I was checking out some rainboots that where on clearance. The boots were black rubber and multicolor, they were cute and useful. The cost of these boots were $12.48. I stood there debating if I should get them when the group of Friends I was with told me they were going upstairs to check out the clothing area. I told them I would wait there for them while I pondered on the boots.
Awhile later I hear gun shots, so I run out the store without the boots. LOL. In my dream I didn't buy them WTF? LOL
So I wait outside for my friends and walk to the car. On the way we take a break to smoke, as we stand smoking near an alley a group of thuggish looking guys come towards us, so we decide to take of to the car. As we chit chat at the car the guys come by and are rude and obnoxious. I decided to go to my blue VW bug as I get in one of the rude obnoxious guys opens my car hood and get into my car. I try to start the car, but I'm unable to start my I try to hit and kick him but he shoves me to the back of the and takes off with me in it. As we drive by my friends I pound on the window and scream to catch their attention but they don't notice. That is how my first part of my dream ends.
2nd part was the following. Tropic Thunder (my lover) came home from his looooooooooooong trip. We picked me up and we drove to a store where he both me clothing a white sweater with a white fur trim on the collar. It was a nice sweater and it cost $150. Then we arrived at his house and there was a block party as I stood in the heat there was a lady who left her green purse. I went around the block party trying to find the owner of the purse, I never found her, so I gave it to women to to take over the search. Finally I got to Tropic Thunders home and as I was walking up the stairs his neighbors would stop me and invite me in they would tell me how much they missed me that why haven't I come around.
The end
That was it.
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