Today I officially turned 28 and I don't seem to like that number. I guess at this age I shouldn't worry, I should probably start to worry when I'm 40 or something (no offense to any 40 year olds)
I set up a get together to celebrate my birthday this weekend. I'm sure that at that time I will hear the same recurring question, Where is A? I honestly don't know what my response will be or should be, Do I break down and cry? Do I say he is out of town? What do I say? I want that night to be fun surrounded by my close friends. I hope I can achieve that nirvana Saturday.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Bono made me do it
I saw U2 last night at the United Center, it was a great show. I was a bit disappointed they didn't play more of there older stuff, but overall it was a great show.
Seeing Bono last night, made be go back in thought about my last relationship. I was dating S for about 4 years in love and planned to marry. Well, things didn't work out that way, his family became involved and he chose his family and a mail order bride instead of me. I remember telling S one night about a great dream I had the night before. The dream was with Bono, Bono and I made the most passionate love together. Well, he became very upset, he found it disrespectful and disgusting that I had dreams like that. Doesn't everybody have a dream like that now and then? I found his reaction to be silly and soon after that we broke up.
Fast forward to the present.
I'm not dwelling on the past when I say this but Bono made me do it.
Last night I had a talk with my boyfriend A and it didn't go well. I'm a bit obnoxious loud, pushy, quiet, shy, center of attention and obsessed with having a good time all rolled up in one. I guess yesterday he was not in the mood for his little taco, ME! I asked him why he was acting the way he was? He wouldn't say anything, he wouldn't answer. I think he was shocked that I actually didn't let this drop. Finally he decided to open his mouth and make words come out of it. We talked and cried together, in the end he/we decided he should go find himself, take a sabbatical because he is the one with the issues and not me, He always led me to believe it was me or at least made me feel it was me.
I let it all out, I actually told him what I wanted.... Love, sex, xoxo, squeezes, touch, understanding, ability to compromise, marriage and children, you know, the basics.The stuff that true and great relationships are made of.
I had contemplated this conversation for a couple of weeks now and understood what the consequences could be and I'm ok with the outcome. I will never deny that I love him and can see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but he has the issues and I want to move forward, I'm not a spring chicken anymore. I miss him, it's only 11:20am and I'm so thinking of him.
Bono made me do it.
Seeing Bono last night, made be go back in thought about my last relationship. I was dating S for about 4 years in love and planned to marry. Well, things didn't work out that way, his family became involved and he chose his family and a mail order bride instead of me. I remember telling S one night about a great dream I had the night before. The dream was with Bono, Bono and I made the most passionate love together. Well, he became very upset, he found it disrespectful and disgusting that I had dreams like that. Doesn't everybody have a dream like that now and then? I found his reaction to be silly and soon after that we broke up.
Fast forward to the present.
I'm not dwelling on the past when I say this but Bono made me do it.
Last night I had a talk with my boyfriend A and it didn't go well. I'm a bit obnoxious loud, pushy, quiet, shy, center of attention and obsessed with having a good time all rolled up in one. I guess yesterday he was not in the mood for his little taco, ME! I asked him why he was acting the way he was? He wouldn't say anything, he wouldn't answer. I think he was shocked that I actually didn't let this drop. Finally he decided to open his mouth and make words come out of it. We talked and cried together, in the end he/we decided he should go find himself, take a sabbatical because he is the one with the issues and not me, He always led me to believe it was me or at least made me feel it was me.
I let it all out, I actually told him what I wanted.... Love, sex, xoxo, squeezes, touch, understanding, ability to compromise, marriage and children, you know, the basics.The stuff that true and great relationships are made of.
I had contemplated this conversation for a couple of weeks now and understood what the consequences could be and I'm ok with the outcome. I will never deny that I love him and can see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but he has the issues and I want to move forward, I'm not a spring chicken anymore. I miss him, it's only 11:20am and I'm so thinking of him.
Bono made me do it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)