tell it how it is

So I went out on Friday night to celebrate a friends birthday. I was having a great time till I became a monster.

There was a time when I would only drink rum and coke, I had it every time and all night. Well it been awhile, I have been drinking beer like really good beer that is high in alchol content so I know to pace myself. I know I'm done with less than 2. On Friday all I drank was rum and coke and became a monster.

I danced and bitched out a friend. Well that is all I remember. My friend, my bff now tells me otherwise that I did other things, embarrassing things. He my bff didn't stop me. I know it is not his job to babysit but he is my BFF and he/we would take care of each other.

HE drove me home. I couldn't make it up the stairs so I stayed on the concrete floor near the basement talking to my boyfriend on the phone, telling him how drunk I was. He was upset but still stayed on the line with me. I was so weak I couldn't hold my self up. As I lay there I could hear a group of guys pass through my alley going in one direction then going the other way. In a matter of minutes I hear gun shoots, I was afraid that they were going to come in my property to cut through or hide and find me drunk and passed out. I was still on the phone with my boyfriend when he heard the shots and was worried for me.

When I heard the gun shots I kinda snapped out of it. I picked myself up and stumbled up the stairs and fumbled with my keys to open the door. I could hear the police sirens coming into the neighborhood.

I was still on the phone with my boyfriend as he heard me stumble through my house to get into my bed. I tried to sit on the edge of my bed to put on my PJ but fell. I fell on the left side of my body landing on my forearm and ass. He told me I was crying telling him how much I was in pain. He was fearful I broke my arm, but thank goodness I didn't.

Well on Saturday I stayed home recovering from my badass hangover. I didn't do anything all day but puke and rest.

I started feeling a little better on Saturday night. I stayed home and around midnight i hear gunshots and screaming. Well 2 teens got shot about half a block away from me. I'm guessing it was the left over from the night before.

On Sunday evening I did my night routine of putting on face lotion, hand lotion and that's when I noticed, I had a bunch of bruises. bruises on my arms and shoulder. I don't know what happened

I really don't like how I feel right now. I don't like how I get. I don't like how I am. I need to settle down.

I really dont feel like writting about this but I did.